The conflicts occurred between the team or the leaders sometimes take a very ugly face and that is not healthy for business and organization. Where there are many drawbacks of the conflicts; many of the leaders believe that it’s a symbol of power and confidence.
How? Let us see it:
Negative ways to handle a conflict:
1. They give themselves into it:
Conflicts are often scary and get difficult to come to the conclusion part. Yet, the leaders believe that it truly challenges your inner self, our confidence and the secure relations we have been trying to make. People who give themselves into the conflict make them paralyzed. They tend to play in safe side in order to maintain the peace and compromise in the midst of conflict so that they can avoid direct conversations and escape the direct rejection. Such type of leaders sets an example that, conflicts are really bad if you want a long-term relationship with your partner in business or employees and therefore, should be definitely avoided.
2. Conflicts lead to unwanted and unwelcome advice.
A conflict has a different sort of energy in itself. People who simply look into it will come to know that it’s just some nuisance that needs to be figured out. As per some of the leaders, they lose the main motto during the conflicts, as they start seeing themselves as some sort of hero who needs to save the day. This leads to unwanted advice and solutions that generate boundary and brings dependency in the team. This makes us understand that conflicts are simply a problem that needs to be solved.
3. Conflicts give birth to ultimatums:
Conflict results due to a gap between what we actually want and what we are currently experiencing. It’s enticing to believe the myth that our opposite party is responsible for the conflict, therefore, it becomes their responsibility to change themselves. Leaders who believe in this myth don’t see any problem in giving ultimatums. They think it’s OK to pressure people in order to close that gap. This makes us understand that fear and manipulations are somewhat acceptable ways to get other people in shape.
But, great leaders see the conflicts differently. They don’t see them as a threat or a problem elsewhere; they see it as a source of energy and a powerful opportunity that needs to be leveraged instantly.
The positive way to handle a conflict:
1) These leaders believe in opening up:
A good leader is never scared of sharing their conflict experience. They open up to themselves and the opposite party by acknowledging the discomfort they are creating with their conflicts. This gives us the idea that no matter if, the conflicts are difficult but it’s OK to have the conflict. Opening up will help us reveal the desires and wants we have inside ourselves. This will automatically make easier to address the root cause of the conflict.
2. Good leaders get curious about conflicts:
We often see that people assume a position while having a conflict, which leads to division. Great leaders do the opposite of it. They get curious about the subject and show a liberal interest in their own viewpoint and the viewpoints of others. They don’t bother about who’s right or wrong rather than that, they focus on understanding and learning. They search for understanding the situation first. They ask questions that are open-ended, instead of searching for exceptions or reiterate their own viewpoint.
3. They focus on what actually matters.
Many people having a conflict get distracted from the real issue that created the conflict in first place. They focus so much on the content that they lose the prospect of what actually matters. Also, they state that everything matters, which only creates a tight spot for everyone.
Great leaders step back, scrutinizes the viewpoint of each party and get crystal clear on what actually matters. They have the ability to separate the “what” from “why.” Because; they know that every negative behavior has something positive in it. When the ideology, restrictions, and values are at the stake-point; they have the quality of focusing on one or two points that are most relevant.
Conflict is a great source of energy for leaders who know to use it wisely. By learning how to open up, get curious, and focus on what actually does matters; the leaders can avoid the scene of conflict and turn it into positive results.